Challenges with Thought Experiments
But actually written: 2/2/2010
I hated writing my last post. There was too much information. Too many resources to grapple with and wrestle ideas out of. People told me over and over, isolate one idea and develop it, tear it to shreds, and develop again. One problem: all the ideas are like shreds of cloud that I'm falling through- plenty of substance around me, but not a handhold in sight.
My roommate happened to be in the room while I was writing and made me pause when she heard me smack myself in the head in frustration.
"You make writing papers sound like some epic and dramatic battle," She told me when I read that first bit of this blog to her. Luckily for my frazzled brain, her English Major boyfriend jumped in for me. "English Major: I can't say anything other than that. When your livelihood depends on what come from your fingers, damn right it's a battle."
He had a point.
I remember the first night I tried writing...the ideas were there- the notes were there- the sources were there...but the motivation to write? The strength to force myself to sit down in front of my computer and stay there- and once there, not let myself reach for the internet cord...I was satisfactorily crazy. Haven't needed to pace the room so much while reaching for every munchy in sight in a long time. I took "breaks". I took a walk, I stretched, I tried to journal, got angry, paced more.
I couldn't get it done.
Maybe it was the silence. Usually I work to music, and I refused to put on music this time. Not doing that again.
I was thinking too hard.
I was trying to find an umbrella term that could encompass all the thoughts I had zooming around my head. BAD METHOD. I was looking for an umbrella term because I usually like to write my papers from beginning to end. I don't know why; I just feel like they flow better that way. It's a great method for me, as long as I manage to keep all my ideas in my head. The problem this time was that I couldn't focus on them all, and couldn't put them all under one title. There were too many links- too many connections, and not nearly enough room or time to address them all.
So I did what I hate doing. In the midst of my frustrated pacing, restless stretching, and forced journalling, I extracted a few crazed rantings that didn't seem to relate to one another and wrote them down. Then I slept. I couldn't keep thinking, else I end up putting down more ideas. The next morning I reread the ravings and tried to connect them. Connecting them wasn't difficult, but limiting myself to hinting at the levels and levels of background thoughts was the hard part.
All in all, I'm pleased with how it turned out. I like the readability, and definitely like the blog version better. The hyperlinks add some of the levels that I felt the word document was lacking.
What can I say? I can't let mere programs limit me- as I said in my experiment, there are enough limits in the world that I can't control. I might as well ignore the ones I can control, and grow from the rest.
I couldn't get it done.
Maybe it was the silence. Usually I work to music, and I refused to put on music this time. Not doing that again.
I was thinking too hard.
I was trying to find an umbrella term that could encompass all the thoughts I had zooming around my head. BAD METHOD. I was looking for an umbrella term because I usually like to write my papers from beginning to end. I don't know why; I just feel like they flow better that way. It's a great method for me, as long as I manage to keep all my ideas in my head. The problem this time was that I couldn't focus on them all, and couldn't put them all under one title. There were too many links- too many connections, and not nearly enough room or time to address them all.
So I did what I hate doing. In the midst of my frustrated pacing, restless stretching, and forced journalling, I extracted a few crazed rantings that didn't seem to relate to one another and wrote them down. Then I slept. I couldn't keep thinking, else I end up putting down more ideas. The next morning I reread the ravings and tried to connect them. Connecting them wasn't difficult, but limiting myself to hinting at the levels and levels of background thoughts was the hard part.
All in all, I'm pleased with how it turned out. I like the readability, and definitely like the blog version better. The hyperlinks add some of the levels that I felt the word document was lacking.
What can I say? I can't let mere programs limit me- as I said in my experiment, there are enough limits in the world that I can't control. I might as well ignore the ones I can control, and grow from the rest.
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